Mirror
No….
The night was staring at her, watching her every move. She looked it in the eye for hours straight and both did not flinch a bit.
“Enough with your metaphors and philosophy. Tell me what’s going on”
Her mind is twirling in the bed, trying to keep up with the only thing moving, the fan.
“Gosh!!, at least stop talking in third person”.
She is breathing in the loneliness of the night. She is no longer resisting it. She has surrendered completely. This is not a defeat, this is kindness.
“Okay! That’s it. There is a limit to everything. Do you realize that you have no one left? You do not go out, you barely talk to anyone. You keep saying weird things. Do not think people will call you a philosopher for this nonsense, Are you listening to me? ”.
Silence………………………….
“Will you say something? Okay, not your drama again”
Staring at the mirror……………
“What do you lack here? You have everything. Stop whining and learn to accept the world as it is. You are nothing special, everyone has their own problems. You are not grateful enough.”
She has to open the windows. She does not want even the birds to judge her haplessness. She wishes to be seen as a child who does not know the world's ways yet. She knows it is impossible, everything points at the incessant memories of her lived years. There is no going back, but she does not have the energy to move forward either. She wishes she could freeze in time.
“Can I leave then?”
Does she have a choice? She cannot leave you. We are two faces of the same coin.
“I’m not you. I’m different”.
She still does not understand. She and I are the same.
She is probably thinking about the moon. Does it have a choice, but to witness this? The moon is the real cursed one, who cannot even blink away from the miseries of the earth, unlike the stars.
“You will make me cry. I’m not here to cry. I want to leave you forever. Why do you not help yourself? Why can’t you just try?”
That’s what she is doing. She needs me. I’m her.
“Don’t make a fool out of yourself. If I leave no one is gonna save you”.
Where will she go?
………….She turned off the light and stared at the mirror. Does she see me?
“I’m here…. I will see you even in darkness.”
I choose me… I choose you… I choose love…. I choose kindness…
“I choose your misery…. I choose your despair…. I choose your anger…..”
If not anyone, the night is at least watching us….
“No, there is a moon too…..”